Bonsai, Bears and Bitches (No Bitches)

11:49 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I am writing way more history essay than I want to be writing
11:50 PM - CodeMagenta: I made another snapchat art masterpiece
11:50 PM - CodeMagenta: who wins this one?
11:50 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I guess you?
11:50 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: You've been more productive
11:50 PM - CodeMagenta: I don't know
11:51 PM - CodeMagenta: You've chipped another veritable inch of rock away in the tunnel that is your education
11:51 PM - CodeMagenta: I've watered the culture bonsai
11:51 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: Now that is one depressing fucking analogy
11:51 PM - CodeMagenta: yeah, nobody likes bonsais
11:51 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I also made a comic that with any luck will bring my grade from an F to a D-
11:51 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: so
11:51 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: yaaaaaaaay
11:52 PM - CodeMagenta: I'm going to say "watered the culture bonsai" regularly now
11:52 PM - CodeMagenta: for random things
11:52 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: like "I'll be back in a few, gotta water the cultural bonsai"
11:52 PM - CodeMagenta: like getting 2 packets of cheezits instead of one at the vending machine
11:52 PM - CodeMagenta: oh, or that
11:53 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: it means masturbate
11:53 PM - CodeMagenta: not urinate?
11:53 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: either, both, whatever
11:53 PM - CodeMagenta: I don't normally say "Be right back, gotta jack off"
11:53 PM - CodeMagenta: so I assumed it was urination
11:53 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I am rereading my first few paragraphs and this may be the most retarded thing I have ever written
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: You know an essay is retarded, when I have to explain in the intro paragraph why I'm doing it in an extra retarded wa
11:54 PM - CodeMagenta: did it start with "Dear History, My name is Mr.McFucknuts, and by your very nature you know me completely but have likely forgotten me"
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: "Rather than assigning arbitrary numbers to these three countries and their fellow superpowers, their position on the global stage will be given as having “risen”, “fallen” or “remained constant”
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: look at that shit
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: that is the gayest thing I have ever had to put in a paper
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: to explain why my paper sucks
11:55 PM - CodeMagenta: I've put doodles of two men having sex and that sentence is still more flamboyantly homoerotic
11:55 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I feel like you probably aced that paper
11:56 PM - CodeMagenta: I actually got a physics paper back because I drew two pigs having sex on it and then covered it up by putting wrestling masks on them
11:56 PM - CodeMagenta: they didn't notice
11:56 PM - CodeMagenta: and that is my finest moment
11:56 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: more quotes from my history paper However from this period of unrest rose Stalin, LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES OF FIERY VIOLENCE HE BROUGHT ABOUT RUSSIA’S REBIRTH
11:56 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I'm gonna change that
11:56 PM - CodeMagenta: Like a red russian bear
11:57 PM - CodeMagenta: from the cave
11:57 PM - CodeMagenta: of sleepy hibernation
11:57 PM - CodeMagenta: The Red Russian Bear
11:57 PM - CodeMagenta: Emerging from its slumber
11:58 PM - CodeMagenta: ate all my honey
11:58 PM - CodeMagenta: ..and that was a haiku
11:58 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I hope you one day drown in semen
11:59 PM - CodeMagenta: I'm giving you Spock's live long and prosper hand sign right now
11:59 PM - CodeMagenta: except my hand is facing palm towards me
11:59 PM - CodeMagenta: and all my fingers are down except the middle one
Thursday, December 19, 2013
12:00 AM - WentToSchoolStupid: truly, I have never been more offended than at this very moment
12:00 AM - CodeMagenta: it is now a new day
12:00 AM - CodeMagenta: the troubles of yesterday are behind us
12:00 AM - CodeMagenta: you may no longer hold the grudges conceived at 11:59 yesterday
12:01 AM - CodeMagenta: which was Keith Richards' 70th birthday.
12:01 AM - CodeMagenta: He may very well be dead from partying hard
12:01 AM - CodeMagenta: because he's Keith fucking Richards

This little Gem from long ago

CodeMagenta: 2:00?

^8[^2WW^73^8]HouseOfPain: yeah

CodeMagenta: the party stops when I leave

^8[^2WW^73^8]HouseOfPain: well then

CodeMagenta: so you'll have to pull my drunk ass out at 5:00, dress me, and drop me off right after

^8[^2WW^73^8]HouseOfPain: no thanks

CodeMagenta: think of it as preparation for our future together

Straight Cockney Lyrics Official

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G2G2AeBS80

It is an age old question...asked every generation, "What the fuck is he saying?" Well we have 2 somewhat correct answers (It's like Algebra 2 finals in Sophomore year all over again) and you're going to decide which one gets partial credit and which one gets an unhappy face and an angry jewish man.

CodeMagenta's Interpretation:

STRAIGHT COCKNEY 

- A Modern Rap Song By: Phenomenon

(boop boop beep) x16

What’s up me gov’na?

Oh, I’m talkin’ to meeself again.

HAHA

Y’know I’m top boy around here.

I’m reppin’ Romford bruv!

OooohkkKAAAYYyy

Listen up, Geezers


Chorus:

You can’t mess, not with me

My name’s Phenomeno’ I’m straight cockney

You can’t mess, not with me

My name’s Phenomeno’ I’m straight cockney



Micks call me puddin but you can call me criminal

let me spare you I’m unstoppable

Got bear gash got bangable

So I’ve pretty much done it all

And ze basically run it all

What’re the odds of getting grammatic use

Any man crosses our sea’s a fool

Romford lad, cockney boy

Gonna show you that I’m the real deal

Typically gonna dress and take part in a lot of criminal activities

Romping all around, fighting, playing with people’s lives

Off the top takin’ risky dives

Protectin’ an N-slap peace and a hives

So blunt know jack you’re that sonic and a liverfool bionic and it’s ironic



Chorus:

You can’t mess, not with me (NA!)

My name’s Phenomeno’ I’m straight cockney (yea)

You can’t mess, not with me

My name’s Phenomeno’ I’m straight cockney



You don’t know who I am or what I get up to

Could be a criminal, masked-murderer or a burglar

Just know I won’t hurt ya, squirt ya with a 20 liters of acid

watch you burn into ashes as my crew smashes

and if my crew comes its why could you get slew

or the crowd will boo at you

it’s lookin’ like you’ll get slew, you could never slew me

and another block brings the intelligence

settle, this’ll sting like a nettle, burn like a kettle

sue you for vile metal cuz it ain’t gentle

when I’m mental avoid your way like a dispensible

are you angled vertical cuz my name is

Phenomenol

Phenomenol



Chorus:

You can’t mess, not with me (NA!)

My name’s Phenomeno’ I’m straight cockney (yea)

You can’t mess, not with me

My name’s Phenomeno’ I’m straight cockney



I hate MC’s that’re haters just because I’m makin’ paper

I’ll make you sweat into labor, can you do me a favor?

Once you get knee-tall, no breaks, ya?

No guys wanna date ya

Yo, I’m using the force like Darth Vader

Cuz I am Phenomenol who’s an originator, 

think you can come at me? No, not at all

You’re on top for makin’ it small

so bad let’s call me darth maul

my crew roll, livin’ side a swimpool

runnin’ outta breath, lungs gettin’ small

gonna test me? Naw, not at all

Wouldn’t be a very good idol for your kids

cuz I don’t give a fffffff don’t take no shhhhhhh



Chorus: x3

You can’t mess, not with me (NA!)

My name’s Phenomeno’ I’m straight cockney (yea)

You can’t mess, not with me

My name’s Phenomeno’ I’m straight cockney



Wakey wakey, rise and shine

Phenomenol comin’ up with a sick rhyme

Who’s gotten a sick rhyme? 

Phenomenol I said Phenomenol



Wakey wakey, rise and shine

Phenomenol comin’ up with a sick rhyme

Who’s gotten a sick rhyme? 

Phenomenol I said Phenomenol



Drink to the max, drink to the fullest

spray block milk on the cart of the rullis

Flow that I’ve got there’s something like dis

Police witness, Phenomenol ripped this

Want thee a beer this cap-camera

I was so my pee is so kiss ma so meet my swiss

Rude boy suck on this



Random Black Guy:

Yep yep yep yep

That’s what I like to see


Echo: 

BRRRAAAAAPPP


Deadpan Delivery's Interpretation:


STRAIGHT COCKNEY 

-By: Phenomenon

Wassup me guv’na? 

Oop, I’m talking to meself again 

AH HA 

You know I’m top boy around here

I’m repping ROMFORD bruv, oooookay

Listen up geezers



(Chorus)

You can’t mess

Not wif me

My name’s phenomenon 

I’m straight cockney (x2)



Mace got the boy governor es me best 

gonna summer ball got bear gassed 

gonna bang a ball 

I’ve pretty much done it all 

Basically run it all

Something toilet stall any man crosses us he’s a fool 

Romford Lad, Cockney boy

gonna show you that I’m the real deal 

Wiggle address and stay smart

take part

in a lot of criminal activity 

Rolled beans and mounds

Fighting and playing with people’s lives

off the top taking risky dives

protecting our m-flap bees in the hives

gonna jack your rat sonic 

I’m a lyrical bionic IT’S IRONIC 



(Chorus)(x2)



You don’t know who I am, or what yet I do

Could be a criminal masked all or burglar 

Just know what yacht

Yo just inna massive

Whatcha burning to ashes

My crew smashes

my crew some stool to get food

All the crowd will groove at you 

You’ll get slew think ya never slew

Me on a level what brings intelligence 

Settle this sting you for nettle

We’ve got a kettle

I’m metal cuz I ain’t gentle when I’m mental 

Spent it all when you’re at vertical which is tentacle 

My name is phenomenal 



(Chorus)(x2)



I hate MCs like haters

Because I’m making paper 

Make you sweat into maypark 

You’d be doing me a favor

I’ll see you later

No gash want to date ya 

Balls like darth vader

Cuz I phenomenal flow is original 

Think you’ll merk me no not at all 

Think you’re tall I’ll make you look small

I guv em all, my crew roll

Running out of bread so long as get small 

No not at all 

Wouldn’t be very good idle fake kids

I don’t give a f--- don’t take no sh--



(Chorus)(x3)



Trying to push these weights 

Wakey wakey rise and shine 

Phenomenal come up with another sick rhyme

Who’s got the sick rhyme?

Phenomenon! 

I said phenomenal 

Wakey wakey rise and shine 

It’s phenomenal come with another sick rhyme

Who’s got the sick rhyme?

Phenomenon! 

I said phenomenal 

I’m straight to the max

Street to the bullets

Spray paint cold car on the rivets

Flow that I’ve got that something like this

Witness phenomenal rip this

Be in here cuz a camera up in this 

Pen in a kiss

Come meet my swiss

rude boys suck on this 


YUP YUP YUP YUP YUP 

THAT’S WHAT I LIKE TO SEE

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP


Who wins? Nobody. Who boasts? You decide!