Bonsai, Bears and Bitches (No Bitches)

11:49 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I am writing way more history essay than I want to be writing
11:50 PM - CodeMagenta: I made another snapchat art masterpiece
11:50 PM - CodeMagenta: who wins this one?
11:50 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I guess you?
11:50 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: You've been more productive
11:50 PM - CodeMagenta: I don't know
11:51 PM - CodeMagenta: You've chipped another veritable inch of rock away in the tunnel that is your education
11:51 PM - CodeMagenta: I've watered the culture bonsai
11:51 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: Now that is one depressing fucking analogy
11:51 PM - CodeMagenta: yeah, nobody likes bonsais
11:51 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I also made a comic that with any luck will bring my grade from an F to a D-
11:51 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: so
11:51 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: yaaaaaaaay
11:52 PM - CodeMagenta: I'm going to say "watered the culture bonsai" regularly now
11:52 PM - CodeMagenta: for random things
11:52 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: like "I'll be back in a few, gotta water the cultural bonsai"
11:52 PM - CodeMagenta: like getting 2 packets of cheezits instead of one at the vending machine
11:52 PM - CodeMagenta: oh, or that
11:53 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: it means masturbate
11:53 PM - CodeMagenta: not urinate?
11:53 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: either, both, whatever
11:53 PM - CodeMagenta: I don't normally say "Be right back, gotta jack off"
11:53 PM - CodeMagenta: so I assumed it was urination
11:53 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I am rereading my first few paragraphs and this may be the most retarded thing I have ever written
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: You know an essay is retarded, when I have to explain in the intro paragraph why I'm doing it in an extra retarded wa
11:54 PM - CodeMagenta: did it start with "Dear History, My name is Mr.McFucknuts, and by your very nature you know me completely but have likely forgotten me"
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: "Rather than assigning arbitrary numbers to these three countries and their fellow superpowers, their position on the global stage will be given as having “risen”, “fallen” or “remained constant”
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: look at that shit
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: that is the gayest thing I have ever had to put in a paper
11:54 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: to explain why my paper sucks
11:55 PM - CodeMagenta: I've put doodles of two men having sex and that sentence is still more flamboyantly homoerotic
11:55 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I feel like you probably aced that paper
11:56 PM - CodeMagenta: I actually got a physics paper back because I drew two pigs having sex on it and then covered it up by putting wrestling masks on them
11:56 PM - CodeMagenta: they didn't notice
11:56 PM - CodeMagenta: and that is my finest moment
11:56 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: more quotes from my history paper However from this period of unrest rose Stalin, LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES OF FIERY VIOLENCE HE BROUGHT ABOUT RUSSIA’S REBIRTH
11:56 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I'm gonna change that
11:56 PM - CodeMagenta: Like a red russian bear
11:57 PM - CodeMagenta: from the cave
11:57 PM - CodeMagenta: of sleepy hibernation
11:57 PM - CodeMagenta: The Red Russian Bear
11:57 PM - CodeMagenta: Emerging from its slumber
11:58 PM - CodeMagenta: ate all my honey
11:58 PM - CodeMagenta: ..and that was a haiku
11:58 PM - WentToSchoolStupid: I hope you one day drown in semen
11:59 PM - CodeMagenta: I'm giving you Spock's live long and prosper hand sign right now
11:59 PM - CodeMagenta: except my hand is facing palm towards me
11:59 PM - CodeMagenta: and all my fingers are down except the middle one
Thursday, December 19, 2013
12:00 AM - WentToSchoolStupid: truly, I have never been more offended than at this very moment
12:00 AM - CodeMagenta: it is now a new day
12:00 AM - CodeMagenta: the troubles of yesterday are behind us
12:00 AM - CodeMagenta: you may no longer hold the grudges conceived at 11:59 yesterday
12:01 AM - CodeMagenta: which was Keith Richards' 70th birthday.
12:01 AM - CodeMagenta: He may very well be dead from partying hard
12:01 AM - CodeMagenta: because he's Keith fucking Richards