Never tell your password to anyone.
9:06 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Would you fuck someone wearing a onesie?
9:06 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Would you fuck someone wearing a onesie?
9:06 PM - CodeMagenta: how COULD you fuck someone wearing a onesie?
9:06 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Maybe it's unbuttoned or unzipped or something
9:07 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Besides, you're focusing on the wrong aspect of this
9:07 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Imagine if the official uniform was to be made a onesie
9:07 PM - Deadpan Delivery: No one would screw ANYONE
9:08 PM - CodeMagenta: ok...are we talking baby onesie or pajamas onesie?
9:08 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Pajama onesie
9:08 PM - CodeMagenta: yeah sure
9:08 PM - Deadpan Delivery: I think you're a bit big for a baby onesie
9:08 PM - CodeMagenta: I tend to like to NOT feel pedophilic
9:09 PM - CodeMagenta: So I'd be fine fucking someone in a pajama onesie
9:09 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Conflicting emotions: http://shechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/onesie-pics-1.jpg?w=500&h=666
9:10 PM - CodeMagenta: Very consistent with my emotions
9:10 PM - Deadpan Delivery: You don't feel a tad creepy?
9:10 PM - CodeMagenta: I justify it by thinking of the “girls' slumberparty” fantasy
9:11 PM - CodeMagenta: It makes me feel a lot better
9:11 PM - Deadpan Delivery: That should make you feel creepier
9:11 PM - CodeMagenta: Well, like, college girls have sleepovers too...
9:11 PM - Deadpan Delivery: I wonder if girls have "Guys' sleepover" fantasies
9:12 PM - Deadpan Delivery: We take our shirts off, start having pillow fights
9:12 PM - Deadpan Delivery: wrestle a little
9:12 PM - CodeMagenta: Somehow I don't think that's as intriguing
9:12 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Well you're not a girl
9:12 PM - Deadpan Delivery: put yourself in the mindset of a 15 year old girl
9:12 PM - Deadpan Delivery: ...Forget I said that
9:12 PM - CodeMagenta: I already have
9:12 PM - CodeMagenta: ...But then, what is it about slumberparties that guys find really alluring?
9:12 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Please don't explain that
9:13 PM - Deadpan Delivery: What I find alluring is the idea of contact with a real woman
9:13 PM - Deadpan Delivery: as such, my fantasies are pretty vague
9:14 PM - CodeMagenta: To be honest most of my fantasies about women involve lying in bed having a high-intellect conversation after some sex.
9:14 PM - CodeMagenta: And a blowjob in the morning.
9:14 PM - CodeMagenta: That's top
9:14 PM - Deadpan Delivery: and then bottom for a while, because sometimes you need to relax
9:15 PM - Deadpan Delivery: *Cough*
9:15 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Anyway
9:15 PM - Deadpan Delivery: I've given up on the idea of anyone I'm interested in sleeping with being on the same intellectual level as me
9:16 PM - CodeMagenta: I have the vague hope of going off to some ancient historical site in a faraway land and essentially meeting a hot female version of myself
9:16 PM - Deadpan Delivery: That's why I wear all my nerd t-shirts
9:16 PM - Deadpan Delivery: I secretly hope a girl will recognize whatever it is I'm making reference to and come talk to me
9:17 PM - CodeMagenta: maybe once you're old enough you can sit in bars all day
9:17 PM - CodeMagenta: gets the best publicity for women who want sex from anything male
9:17 PM - Deadpan Delivery: I feel like I'm not interested in those women
9:18 PM - CodeMagenta: Well, if you were a woman, you'd probably do that
9:18 PM - Deadpan Delivery: If the criteria for something entering your vagina is "Male"
9:18 PM - CodeMagenta: Guys go to bars to look for something female to stick their thing into too
9:18 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Also bad criteria
9:19 PM - CodeMagenta: ...Well it works in Scotland.
9:20 PM - Deadpan Delivery: So does bestiality and William Wallace as a tactician
9:20 PM - CodeMagenta: William Wallace was a horrible tactician actually
9:20 PM - CodeMagenta: Hey! The first one was the same as mine
9:20 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Ah
9:20 PM - Deadpan Delivery: That's what I was saying
9:21 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Yes
9:21 PM - Deadpan Delivery: And I thought you were making a "Scottish people are drunk" joke
9:21 PM - Deadpan Delivery: not a "Scottish people bang goats" joke
9:21 PM - CodeMagenta: To his credit, he figured out that bridges were sortof a strategic point
9:21 PM - CodeMagenta: which puts him leagues ahead of his second wife in terms of intellect
9:21 PM - CodeMagenta: and she was a goat
9:22 PM - CodeMagenta: ...
9:22 PM - CodeMagenta: But yeah, his tactics failed miserably at Falkirk
9:23 PM - Deadpan Delivery: You can't see me right now, but I'm nodding my head like I know what you're talking about
9:23 PM - CodeMagenta: Well, to explain...
9:23 PM - CodeMagenta: Basically, his whole strategy in that battle was "Get into clumps and put your shields up and stick out your pointy things, and then don't move"
9:23 PM - CodeMagenta: That being my description of a formation called the Schiltron
9:24 PM - Deadpan Delivery: weird
9:24 PM - Deadpan Delivery: That's the name of my new metal band
9:24 PM - CodeMagenta: weird
9:24 PM - CodeMagenta: that's the name I gave my penis
CodeMagenta is now offline
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| "The Scottish Defense" |
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