Never tell your password to anyone.
9:51 PM - Deadpan Delivery: So
9:51 PM - Deadpan Delivery: We should have our first proper blog shaped conversation now
9:52 PM - CodeMagenta: ok
9:52 PM - Deadpan Delivery: It's like your wedding night, lots of pressure to perform
9:52 PM - CodeMagenta: wanna get coop in?
9:52 PM - CodeMagenta: I always perform better in threesomes because there's time to rest and if you're good no one really notices
9:52 PM - CodeMagenta: or maybe that's if you're bad that they don't notice
9:52 PM - Deadpan Delivery: I think that's cheating a little
9:53 PM - CodeMagenta: only if I hadn't told you coop was gonna show up
9:53 PM - CodeMagenta: and even then I think the natural blame would shift to the stranger
9:53 PM - Deadpan Delivery: SURPRISE HONEY!
9:53 PM - Deadpan Delivery: That would be a real damper on the wedding night
9:54 PM - Deadpan Delivery: "Let's have a nice romantic evening. But first me and this total stranger are gonna run train on you"
9:54 PM - Deadpan Delivery: *swoon*
9:54 PM - CodeMagenta: I've never heard the phrase "run train"
9:54 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Really?
9:54 PM - CodeMagenta: yep
9:54 PM - CodeMagenta: I assume it's like plowing
9:54 PM - CodeMagenta: because every guy thinks about sex when driving any sort of vehicle
9:55 PM - Deadpan Delivery: As always, Urban Dictionary has me covered
9:55 PM - Deadpan Delivery: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=run%20train
9:55 PM - CodeMagenta: "several friends"
9:55 PM - CodeMagenta: coop and I aren't friends
9:55 PM - CodeMagenta: not after the last time we ran train on a girl
9:56 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Makes the next day real awkward
9:56 PM - CodeMagenta: Also, I'd like to announce that the ad on the side is a picture of a girl wearing underwear and a shirt that says "Meh"
9:56 PM - CodeMagenta: which really reflects on your poor performance I'd say
9:56 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Meh is a better review than what I usually get
9:57 PM - CodeMagenta: that's because you had an extra wanger to help you
9:57 PM - CodeMagenta: because as they always say
9:57 PM - CodeMagenta: two heads are better than one
9:57 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Not two wangs?
9:57 PM - CodeMagenta: wangs have heads
9:57 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Because two Wangs is just me trying decide if I want sweet and sour chicken, or peking duck
9:58 PM - CodeMagenta: Always go with the chicken
9:59 PM - Deadpan Delivery: You don't like duck?
9:59 PM - CodeMagenta: when a duck is one letter away from pecking I don't trust it
9:59 PM - Deadpan Delivery: I think it's geese you want to be afraid of, them's some mean motherfuckers
10:00 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Or pigeons
10:00 PM - Deadpan Delivery: I don't know
10:00 PM - Deadpan Delivery: birds are dicks
10:01 PM - CodeMagenta: It dawns on me I've never seen a bird dick
10:01 PM - CodeMagenta: and they must have really awkward sex
10:01 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Lots of squawking and feathers everywhere
10:01 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Oh yeah... how does that work?
10:01 PM - CodeMagenta: Do they do it mid air?
10:02 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Birds are not shaped well for fucking
10:02 PM - Deadpan Delivery: This is the sort of thing they should be teaching in biology
10:03 PM - CodeMagenta: it's an example of a failure in biological engineering
10:03 PM - CodeMagenta: though not quite as bad as dogs
10:03 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Dogs do okay
10:03 PM - CodeMagenta: they have to like, mount the female, and then turn around in the end
10:03 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Like, I could draw dogs fucking
10:03 PM - Deadpan Delivery: I can't draw birds
10:03 PM - CodeMagenta: but for dogs it's REQUIRED to change positions
10:04 PM - CodeMagenta: and what about really big dogs
10:04 PM - CodeMagenta: that must not be comfortable for the female
10:05 PM - Deadpan Delivery: But people screw doggy style. They got a position named after them. No one says "Hey baby, let's do it sparrow style tonight"
10:05 PM - CodeMagenta: Although there is the Spread Eagle
10:06 PM - CodeMagenta: And I would pay money to see someone on the verge of climaxing turn around 180 degrees and keep the thing in the hole
10:06 PM - CodeMagenta: though I'd pay money regardless if the girl was hot and I didn't have to see the guy's face
10:07 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Hey, you invented porn
10:07 PM - Deadpan Delivery: pay-per-view porn no less
10:07 PM - Deadpan Delivery: congratulations
10:07 PM - CodeMagenta: They probably already have that to an extent
10:08 PM - Deadpan Delivery: What, porn?
10:08 PM - Deadpan Delivery: they have a lot of it dude
10:08 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Whole websites, even
10:08 PM - CodeMagenta: Neatly sorted by someone who has no life, and whose job I'm not sure I would want
10:09 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Actually, that's an interesting question
10:10 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Does someone get paid to sort internet porn into the categories?
10:10 PM - CodeMagenta: well the websites must have people to manage and maintain them
10:11 PM - Deadpan Delivery: You know what I hate about exercise?
10:11 PM - Deadpan Delivery: Physical exertion
10:11 PM - CodeMagenta: Having to look yourself in the mirror?
10:11 PM - Deadpan Delivery: That’s just what I hate about myself in general
10:11 PM - Deadpan Delivery: And now I need to go cry
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